A day in Brussels must have several specific goals in mind, as the rumor goes. First, you must try the famous Belgian beer. The men and women of this country are known to be conisseurs, meaning they claim to know the difference between a Pilsner, Weissbier and an IPA and drink beer based off the taste, not for the silly name or nostolgic purposes. They are proud of their beer, and would sooner punch your Bud Light bottle in the label than take a sip.
The second thing you must do is try is some chocolate. Or maybe look at lace. What use anyone has for lace I don’t know, but Belgium has got it. These, along with the fine beer, is what Belgium is known for. Knowing this, you can easily put together a theory on the neutrality of Belgium…while France was all about revolutions and progress, the Germanic states were off modernizing and thinking about (and eventually creating) a healthy, industrial, powerhouse country. Meanwhile, Belgium was sitting around, getting drunk and eating chocolate while discussing lace. Let’s put it this way – if you were in junior high and you had a revolutionary classmate and a kid that was swiftly growing faster and stronger than you, you were in trouble if your main interest was lace and chocolate. If you weren’t hiding out in a corner drinking a beer and eating a truffle, you were going to get beat up.
Then there is Le Manneken Pis, also known as Le petit Julien. Brussel’s most famous statue, landmark even, is a statue that literally translates to “The Pissing Boy.” The great thing is that the people of Brussels thought that only one statue of a pissing child was ridiculous, and so they also built Yanika Pis. Allegedly, Yanika Pis, the female counterpart in this urine game, does exist in Brussels. However, both myself and Wikipedia are unable to confirm or deny such claims.
“In 1619 I was five years old. I got lost in Brussels. After two days of frantic searching, my father, a nobleman, found me in an embarassing position…peeing. As a token of gratitude, he ordered a fountain to be built, with a statue depicting me in that same position.” ~ The words of Le Manneken Pis, as told by a placard posted in a nearby chocolate shop.
Le Christian Pis?
All Brussels sights go downhill after looking at a pissing statue – what else can top that?? – and so the decision was made to hop the train to Bruges, a city that I had no idea about other than that someone once told me it was nice.
Bruges is spectacular. Spectacular, I tell you. Most cities that look old usually have something to ruin it at least a bit. Tons of dirty traffic (Rome), several giant downtown buildings looming over church steeples (Paris), throngs of tourists (London – and while I admit that I am a tourist, may I also point out that I alone do not constitute a throng), and so on. Bruges has none of these. None! And it appeared to be untouched by time, but in a good way. This means that there although there was electricity, central heating, and people that spoke English there was also no plague, ugly modern monstrosities, or countless cars that wanted nothing more than to run you over.
It turns out there is something to this – without getting into it too much, Bruges had at one time been a very important trading city (actually, it seems most European cities can make that claim). It is after all only about 13 miles from the coast, and had a nice little river through the center. At one time it was bigger than London, but I suppose it is worth noting that at one time many old towns were bigger than London. After all, London’s population didn’t go from zero to ~ eight million overnight. Long story short, the river from coast to town got silted up, and voila – city untouched for the next couple hundred years.
I have but one vexation from Saturday, and it is not in regards to Bruges but at the hotel that we chose to stay at. “Chose” is actually the wrong word to use, as Missy and I arrived in Bruges after dark with no hotel and had some difficulty tracking one down – surprisingly, most hotels were either packed full or 160 Euros. We ended up at the ultra luxurious Koffieboontje Hotel (not sure the correct pronunciation, but it sounded like they were saying “Coffee Boy”).
Coffee Boy had a single room, large enough for a bed and that’s it, and graciously offered it up. But ah, who cares - the real vexing thing about Coffee Boy is that after a glorious dinner out, a bottle of wine, and several beers off a 300 beer menu (300! And I thought the beers of the world ended after Red Dog, Olympia, Hamm’s Special Light, and Icehouse!), we ended up having to scale the ten foot tall gate that surrounds the hotel. Apparently we didn’t pay the premium needed for the rope ladder required to get back into the hotel at night. Or, maybe we broke curfew. Then again, it could just be that at this particular time of the evening neither Missy or myself were capable of operating the key to unlock the gate…and so the mystery shall remain.
[PICTURES IN GOOD TIME...]